Kegagalan pertama (?) sebagai orang tua

I feel very disappointed with myself. Sebagai orang tua saya baru kali ini saya merasa gagal. Setidaknya ini kegagalan yang saya sadari. Ngga tau ya kalau sebelumnya pernah terjadi kegagalan, tapi tidak saya sadari.

Penyebabnya? Wina—anak saya yang pertama, anak gadis saya yang cantik—harus memakai kacamata di usianya yang baru 6 tahun. Memang, itu bukan akhir dunia (terjemahan bebas dari it’s not the end of the world—red.), dan ada orang yang bilang itu sudah takdir. Tapi saya tetap merasa seharusnya saya bisa mencegahnya, bila saja saya memiliki sense of alertness yang lebih tinggi.

Sejak usia 4 tahun, Wina kerap memicingkan mata ketika menonton televisi atau membaca teks dari kejauhan. Saat itu saya dan istri sudah curiga. Namun ketika ditanya kenapa, Wina hanya menjawab, “Emang aku lagi pengen begitu.” Sempat beberapa kali terlontar wacana untuk membawanya ke dokter spesialis mata untuk diperiksa, tapi entah kenapa, tidak pernah terlaksana. Itulah sumber kesalahan pertama. Membiarkan bibit masalah berkembang hingga besar.

Barney si dinosaurus ungu adalah tontonan favorit Wina sejak dia mulai bisa berbicara. Sudah tak terhitung lagu dalam bahasa Inggris yang dia hafal dari sekian CD petualangan Barney yang kami belikan untuknya. Tapi kami lupa bahwa radiasi yang ditimbulkan oleh layar TV juga bisa memperparah kondisi mata Wina. Memang kami tidak pernah membiarkan Wina menonton dari jarak yang terlalu dekat atau sambil tidur-tiduran. Tapi tetap saja, memanjakannya dengan tontonan TV, meskipun atas nama pendidikan, merupakan sumber kesalahan yang cukup besar.

Pada waktu masih bayi, Wina sangat suka makan sayuran. Wortel & berbagai sayuran hijau dia lahap tanpa protes. Namun memasuki usia ke empat, tampaknya dia mulai bosan. Ada saja alasannya untuk tidak memakan sayuran apa pun yang disodorkan ibunya. Padahal kami sudah terlalu sering memberinya nasihat & contoh tentang pentingnya sayuran untuk kebugaran tubuh dan kesehatan mata. Tapi justru di situ tampaknya letak kesalahan kami. Kami hanya memberi nasihat (& contoh), tapi kurang gigih mencari strategi yang ampuh agar Wina suka memakan sayur kembali.

Ketika Wina mulai belajar di SD, makin kentara saja kekurangannya dalam penglihatan. So, minggu lalu kami membawanya ke dokter mata. Vonisnya jelas, Wina harus memakai kacamata. Tidak tanggung-tanggung, langsung minus 2. It really broke my heart. Terlebih ketika harus mengantarnya membuat kacamata. Siapapun yang berkacamata tahu betapa canggungnya seseorang yang baru pertama kali memakai kacamata minus. Jauh berbeda dengan memakai kacamata hitam anti silau.

Satu-satunya yang menghibur saya adalah, Wina tetap terlihat cantik meski berkacamata.

Vincent (Starry, Starry Night)

By Don McLean

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and gray
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colors on the snowy linen land

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen
They did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds and violet haze
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue
Colors changing hue
Morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artists' loving hand
Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen
They did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left inside
On that starry, starry night
You took your life as lovers often do
But I could have told you Vincent
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you

Like the strangers that you've met
The ragged men in ragged clothes
The silver thorn of bloody rose
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen
They're not listening still
Perhaps they never will...

10 Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

Rule One
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise:
You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.
However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early”.

Rule Six
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool; Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight; Places where there is darkness; Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness; Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka -- zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car -- there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

Tuhan Sembilan Senti

Oleh Taufiq Ismail

Indonesia adalah sorga luar biasa ramah bagi perokok,
tapi tempat siksa tak tertahankan bagi orang yang tak merokok,

Di sawah petani merokok,
di pabrik pekerja merokok,
di kantor pegawai merokok,
di kabinet menteri merokok,
di reses parlemen anggota DPR merokok,
di Mahkamah Agung yang bergaun toga merokok, hansip-bintara-perwira
nongkrong merokok,
di perkebunan pemetik buah kopi merokok,
di perahu nelayan penjaring ikan merokok,
di pabrik petasan pemilik modalnya merokok,
di pekuburan sebelum masuk kubur orang merokok,

Indonesia adalah semacam firdaus-jannatu-na'im sangat ramah bagi
perokok,
tapi tempat siksa kubur hidup-hidup bagi orang yang tak merokok,

Di balik pagar SMU murid-murid mencuri-curi merokok,
di ruang kepala sekolah...ada guru merokok,
di kampus mahasiswa merokok,
di ruang kuliah dosen merokok,
di rapat POMG orang tua murid merokok,
di perpustakaan kecamatan ada siswa bertanya apakah ada buku tuntunan
cara merokok,

Di angkot Kijang penumpang merokok,
di bis kota sumpek yang berdiri yang duduk orang bertanding merokok,
di loket penjualan karcis orang merokok,
di kereta api penuh sesak orang festival merokok,
di kapal penyeberangan antar pulau penumpang merokok,
di andong Yogya kusirnya merokok, sampai kabarnya kuda andong minta
diajari pula merokok,

Negeri kita ini sungguh nirwana kayangan para dewa-dewa bagi perokok,
tapi tempat cobaan sangat berat bagi orang yang tak merokok,

Rokok telah menjadi dewa, berhala, tuhan baru, diam-diam menguasai kita,

Di pasar orang merokok,
di warung Tegal pengunjung merokok,
di restoran, di toko buku orang merokok,
di kafe di diskotik para pengunjung merokok,

Bercakap-cakap kita jarak setengah meter tak tertahankan abab rokok,
bayangkan isteri-isteri yang bertahun-tahun menderita di kamar tidur
ketika melayani para suami yang bau mulut dan hidungnya mirip asbak rokok,

Duduk kita di tepi tempat tidur ketika dua orang bergumul saling
menularkan HIV-AIDS sesamanya,
tapi kita tidak ketularan penyakitnya.
Duduk kita disebelah orang yang dengan cueknya mengepulkan asap rokok
di kantor atau di stopan bus,
kita ketularan penyakitnya.
Nikotin lebih jahat penularannya ketimbang HIV-AIDS,

Indonesia adalah sorga kultur pengembangbiakan nikotin paling subur di
dunia,
dan kita yang tak langsung menghirup sekali pun asap tembakau itu, bisa
ketularan kena,

Di puskesmas pedesaan orang kampung merokok,
di apotik yang antri obat merokok,
di panti pijat tamu-tamu disilahkan merokok,
di ruang tunggu dokter pasien merokok,
dan ada juga dokter-dokter merokok,

Istirahat main tenis orang merokok,
di pinggir lapangan voli orang merokok,
menyandang raket badminton orang merokok,
pemain bola PSSI sembunyi-sembunyi merokok,
panitia pertandingan balap mobil, pertandingan bulutangkis, turnamen sepakbola
mengemis-ngemis mencium kaki sponsor perusahaan rokok,

Di kamar kecil 12 meter kubik, sambil 'ek-'ek orang goblok merokok,
di dalam lift gedung 15 tingkat dengan tak acuh orang goblok merokok,
di ruang sidang ber-AC penuh, dengan cueknya, pakai dasi, orang-orang
goblok merokok,

Indonesia adalah semacam firdaus-jannatu-na'im sangat ramah bagi orang perokok,
tapi tempat siksa kubur hidup-hidup bagi orang yang tak merokok,

Rokok telah menjadi dewa, berhala, tuhan baru, diam-diam menguasai kita,

Di sebuah ruang sidang ber-AC penuh, duduk sejumlah ulama terhormat
merujuk kitab kuning
dan mempersiapkan sejumlah fatwa.
Mereka ulama ahli hisap.
Haasaba, yuhaasibu, hisaaban.
Bukan ahli hisab ilmu falak,
tapi ahli hisap rokok.

Di antara jari telunjuk dan jari tengah mereka terselip berhala-berhala kecil,
sembilan senti panjangnya,
putih warnanya,
kemana-mana dibawa dengan setia,
satu kantong dengan kalung tasbih 99 butirnya,

Mengintip kita dari balik jendela ruang sidang,
tampak kebanyakan mereka memegang rokok dengan tangan kanan,
cuma sedikit yang memegang dengan tangan kiri.
Inikah gerangan pertanda yang terbanyak kelompok ashabul yamiin dan yang
sedikit golongan ashabus syimaal?

Asap rokok mereka mengepul-ngepul di ruangan AC penuh itu.
Mamnu'ut tadkhiin, ya ustadz. Laa tasyrabud dukhaan, ya ustadz.
Kyai, ini ruangan ber-AC penuh.
Haadzihi al ghurfati malii'atun bi mukayyafi al hawwa'i.
Kalau tak tahan, di luar itu sajalah merokok.
Laa taqtuluu anfusakum. Min fadhlik, ya ustadz.
25 penyakit ada dalam khamr. Khamr diharamkan.
15 penyakit ada dalam daging khinzir (babi). Daging khinzir diharamkan.
4000 zat kimia beracun ada pada sebatang rokok. Patutnya rokok diapakan?

Tak perlu dijawab sekarang, ya ustadz. Wa yuharrimu 'alayhimul
khabaaith.
Mohon ini direnungkan tenang-tenang, karena pada zaman Rasulullah dahulu,
sudah ada alkohol, sudah ada babi, tapi belum ada rokok.

Jadi ini PR untuk para ulama.
Tapi jangan karena ustadz ketagihan rokok,
lantas hukumnya jadi dimakruh-makruhkan, jangan,

Para ulama ahli hisap itu terkejut mendengar perbandingan ini.
Banyak yang diam-diam membunuh tuhan-tuhan kecil yang kepalanya berapi
itu, yaitu ujung rokok mereka.
Kini mereka berfikir. Biarkan mereka berfikir.
Asap rokok di ruangan ber-AC itu makin pengap, dan ada yang mulai
terbatuk-batuk,

Pada saat sajak ini dibacakan malam hari ini,
sejak tadi pagi sudah 120 orang di Indonesia mati karena penyakit rokok.
Korban penyakit rokok lebih dahsyat ketimbang korban kecelakaan lalu
lintas,

lebih gawat ketimbang bencana banjir, gempa bumi dan longsor,
cuma setingkat di bawah korban narkoba,

Pada saat sajak ini dibacakan, berhala-berhala kecil itu sangat
berkuasa di negara kita,
jutaan jumlahnya,
bersembunyi di dalam kantong baju dan celana,
dibungkus dalam kertas berwarni dan berwarna,
diiklankan dengan indah dan cerdasnya,

Tidak perlu wudhu atau tayammum menyucikan diri,
tidak perlu ruku' dan sujud untuk taqarrub pada tuhan-tuhan ini,
karena orang akan khusyuk dan fana dalam nikmat lewat upacara menyalakan
api dan sesajen asap tuhan-tuhan ini,

Rabbana, beri kami kekuatan menghadapi berhala-berhala ini.

Sudah merasa bersalah kok masih dimarahi

Kemarin ketika sedang asyik memelototi layar monitor di kantor, saya menerima telpon dari rumah. Ternyata anak saya, Raina (3), yang bicara. Sering kali memang kedua anak saya meminta ibunya untuk menelpon saya. Kalimat pertamanya lumayan bikin jantung saya hampir copot. “Bapak, tangan Ai tatit, datoh dali motol (Bapak, tangan Ai sakit, jatuh dari motor-red).” Usut punya usut, ternyata beberapa menit sebelumnya motor yang dikendarai istri saya terjatuh tepat di depan pintu keluar TK/TPA tempat Raina terdaftar sebagai anak didik. Penyebabnya, seorang pengendara motor lain, yang mungkin sedang kebelet buang air, ngebut di jalan depan pintu keluar TK/TPA tersebut, sehingga istri saya yang baru saja akan berkendara keluar kaget dan hilang keseimbangan. Walhasil istri dan anak saya terjatuh. Beruntung bapak-bapak yang kebetulan ada di sekitar situ berbaik hati membantu mereka. Tidak ada luka serius, hanya pergelangan tangan istri saya agak terkilir karena menahan jatuh dirinya dan Raina. Karena kondisinya tidak terlalu mengkhawatirkan, saya tidak perlu ijin pulang lebih awal.

Singkat kata, pada malam harinya istri dan anak saya bercerita kembali mengenai kejadian pagi itu, dengan tambahan detil yang tidak sempat diceritakan sebelumnya. Rupanya istri saya sempat sewot pada salah satu penolongnya, seorang bapak yang ’bawel’. Jadi alih-alih menolong, bapak itu malah sibuk berkomentar menyudutkan istri saya.

”Wah, ibu sih buru2, jadi ngga liat2 motor yang lewat.”
”Ini motor pasti koplingnya bermasalah. Ngga pernah diservis ya, bu?” (Padahal itu motor skuter otomatis, ngga ada koplingnya. Dan di platnya pun tertulis 08:13, jadi blm waktunya diservis.-red)
”Ibu jangan2 ngantuk ya?”
Bla-bla-bla... dll. ... etc.

Istri saya, yang memang agak merasa bersalah karena kurang hati2, jadi sewot dan melotot. “Bapak nolong-nolong aja, ngga usah banyak komentar yang ngga penting,” balasnya. Intinya, istri saya merasa kesal pada bapak yang satu itu. Orang sedang kesusahan, dan sudah merasa bersalah, kenapa lagi harus dicerocosi komentar yang tidak pada tempatnya? Saya setuju 100%.

Beberapa detik berselang, anak saya, Wina (6), tanpa sengaja menyenggol gelas berisi minuman hingga tumpah. Istri saya melotot dan dengan nada agak tinggi berkata, “Makanya hati2!” Wina yang merasa bersalah cuma bisa menyahut dengan lirih, “Aku ngga sengaja.” Tapi ibunya masih terus memarahi.

Ketika saya akhirnya berkomentar, “Orang sudah merasa bersalah, baiknya ngga usah dimarahi,” istri saya pun melotot lagi.

Tangan Kiri vs Tangan Kanan

Saya seorang muslim. Setidaknya itulah status yang tertera di KTP saya saat ini. Entah apakah Yang Maha Menggenggam Dunia mengakui atau tidak. Yang jelas saya selalu berusaha untuk menjangkarkan tiap tindak tanduk ke sana, tentu saja, berdasarkan nalar saya yang amat sangat terbatas banget sekali.

Sehubungan dengan itu, ada satu kejadian yang sampai saat ini masih tidak lepas dari pikiran saya. Kejadian itu berupa pembicaraan hangat dengan seorang kerabat yang tak lama lagi akan berangkat menunaikan rukun Islam pamungkas. Awalnya kami hanya bersenda gurau tentang persiapan beliau ke tanah (yang menurut 99,999% umat Islam) suci. Lalu topik obrolan berkembang hingga pada suatu detik, saya mengambil gelas minuman dengan tangan kiri. Beliau pun menegur.

"Sunnahnya pake tangan kanan lho, Om."
"Iya ya? Kenapa ya?"
"Ya, yang kanan kan memang mewakili hal2 yang baik."
"Ah, jangan mulai mempolitisir anggota tubuh. Kata siapa?"
"Ya, sunnahnya ya seperti itu. Kita kan cuma bisa sami'na wa atho'na (kami mendengar, kami patuh-red)"
"Tapi yg namanya sunnah kan pasti ada penjelasan yg bisa diterima akal sehat, supaya kita tidak taqlid buta."
"Huss, agama jangan dimaknai dengan akal. Nanti bingung sendiri sampeyan."
"Emang bingung. Tangan kiri & kanan saya kan masing2 punya hak untuk berfungsi."
"Tuh kan. Hati2 lho, sampeyan."

Setelah itu saya cuma cengengesan, dan beliau pun lantas menganggap saya bercanda. Padahal tidak. Saya memutuskan untuk tidak merespon lagi karena saya tahu bahwa saya dan beliau sama2 tidak siap untuk melanjutkannya. Saya tidak mau berdebat kusir.

Tapi memang, sudah sejak lama saya memegang prinsip: Jika kita tidak bisa adil pada diri kita sendiri, mana mungkin kita bisa bersikap adil pada orang lain? Karena itu, saya tidak pernah memaksa anak2 saya untuk menyuap makanan dengan tangan kanan. Saya tidak pernah menegur mereka ketika mereka memberi sesuatu kepada saya dengan menggunakan tangan kiri. Yang saya lakukan adalah, ketika mereka sudah mulai bisa berkomunikasi secara verbal dengan efektif, saya mulai memberitahu mereka tentang penerimaan lingkungan, bahwa di masyarakat sekitar kami, orang2 masih menganggap bahwa tangan kanan lebih disukai ketimbang tangan kiri dengan berbagai alasan. Tapi dengan saya, mereka tahu bahwa tangan kiri & kanan yang melekat di tubuh mereka memiliki harkat yang sama. Keduanya berfungsi sama dan saling melengkapi.

Berdosakah saya mempertanyakan sunnah? Hmmm..., siapa lah saya, hingga berani menggugat sebuah sunnah. Yang saya pertanyakan hanyalah, benarkah seorang manusia mulia yang berhasil mempersatukan lebih dari separuh dunia menyarankan umatnya untuk membedakan tangan kiri & kanan? Apakah mungkin itu hanya persepsi orang2 di sekitar beliau yang melihat beliau (yang memang kebetulan bukan seorang kidal) pada saat menyuap nasi dengan tangan kanan?

Mudah2an para pengagum tangan kanan tidak merasa terganggu dengan tulisan ini.

I Love You - from Patch Adams

I love you without knowing how

or when

or from where

I love you straightforwardly

without complexity

So close

that your hand on my chest

is my hand

So close

that when you close your eyes

I fall asleep

Steve Jobs Stanford Commencement Speech 2005

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.


My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick.

Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.


My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and
I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park , and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

Consumers Urged to Avoid Certain Tomatoes Amid Salmonella Scare

By Amanda Gardner
HealthDay Reporter
Tue Jun 10, 2:01 PM ET

TUESDAY, June 10 (HealthDay News) -- To avoid the current outbreak of salmonella in tomatoes, consumers will need to employ a little detective work and forgo certain types of tomatoes for a while.

"The best advice right now is to be extremely careful in trying to find out exactly where the tomatoes they're purchasing are from," said Tony Corbo, legislative representative for Food & Water Watch, a Washington, D.C.-based nonprofit consumer group that works to ensure clean water and safe food.

"The other problem with tomatoes is that they have shown up in restaurants and in salsa. So, maybe for the time being, consumers should stay away from anything that is processed," Corbo said.

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 167 persons have been infected with Salmonella saintpaul, an unusual and virulent form of salmonella, since mid-April. Infections have occurred in 17 states and at least 23 people have been hospitalized.

The Associated Press reported that one man died, apparently after eating pico de gallo, a tomato-based condiment, at a Texas restaurant in May. The 67-year-old man also suffered from cancer, however, and the death has been officially attributed to that disease, the news service reported.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has alerted consumers that the outbreak of salmonella contamination seems to be linked with certain types of raw red tomatoes and products containing these tomatoes. In particular, the agency said, raw red plum tomatoes, raw red Roma tomatoes and raw round red tomatoes should be avoided at this time.

Cherry tomatoes, grape tomatoes, home-grown tomatoes and tomatoes sold with the vine still attached appear to be safe. But all tomatoes should be washed before eating, officials advised.

"The tomatoes that are being grown at home or in local gardens in the area should be fine," said Sharon Wilkerson, acting dean of the Texas A&M Health Science Center College of Nursing in College Station. "The main thing is to really wash things, and [tomatoes] should be washed before removing the hull or stem. Tomatoes you see in stores that are multiples on stems are usually grown in hot houses, and they should be OK."

Several large fast food, restaurant and grocery chains, including McDonald's, Wal-Mart, Burger King, Kroger and Outback Steakhouse, have voluntarily withdrawn red plum, red Roma or round red tomatoes not grown in certain states and countries. Also, the Los Angeles Unified School District has suspended serving raw tomatoes, the AP said.

The FDA recommends consuming raw red plum, raw red Roma or raw red round tomatoes only if grown and harvested from these areas: Alabama, Arkansas, California, Georgia, Hawaii, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, Mississippi, New York, Nebraska, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, West Virginia, Belgium, Canada, the Dominican Republic, Guatemala, Israel, the Netherlands and Puerto Rico.

Salmonella is a bacteria that can cause bloody diarrhea in humans. Some 40,000 cases of salmonellosis are reported in the United States each year, although the CDC estimates that, because milder cases are not diagnosed or reported, the actual number of infections may be 30 or more times greater. Approximately 600 people die each year after being infected.

The risk of infection is greater in the summer than winter. And children, the elderly and people with weakened immune systems are most at risk for serious complications.

People become infected with salmonella by eating contaminated foods, usually ground beef, eggs, improperly pasteurized dairy products, undercooked pork and, increasingly, poultry products.

During the past several years, the United States has been beset by a series of food-safety crises. In fact, the U.S. Academy of Sciences this week declared that vegetables and fruits have become "leading vehicles" of food-borne illness in the United States.

The problem with tomatoes comes just as the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services proposed an additional $275 million for the FDA to improve food and medical product safety. More than $125 million of the proposed amount would go toward implementing the FDA's Food Protection Plan, designed to help ensure the safety of both imported and domestic-grown food.

An outbreak of E. coli bacteria in spinach in 2006 essentially destroyed the national spinach crop that year, Corbo said. "They put a blanket ban on consumption of spinach and, of course, it affected people who had nothing to do with it," he said.

By detailing which types of tomatoes from which regions are safe and not safe, officials seem to be trying to avoid what happened with the spinach outbreak, Corbo said.

But that means consumers will have to be vigilant, at least for a while. "People should be careful in terms of the plum and Roma and round tomatoes to make sure they're buying them from states and countries cleared by the FDA and CDC," Corbo said. "There is a lot of information to sift through."

Taken from: http://news.yahoo.com/s/hsn/20080610/hl_hsn/consumersurgedtoavoidcertaintomatoesamidsalmonellascare

Sekolah Negeri Reguler - Percontohan - Standar Nasional - Standar Regional/Internasional???

Semenjak anak saya yang pertama, Wina, masih di Playgroup, saya dan istri sering berdiskusi tentang pendidikan anak-anak kami. Secara umum, pastilah isinya berkisar sekolah mana yang terbaik dari segi kualitas pengajaran ilmu pengetahuan dan pendidikan disiplin. Ada beberapa pandangan berseberangan antara saya dan istri, dan semua perbedaan itu berlatar belakang sejarah pendidikan kami yang agak berbeda.

Sejak sekolah dasar hingga perguruan tinggi, saya selalu duduk di bangku sekolah negeri. Hasilnya ya seperti saya sekarang ini. Sedangkan istri saya hanya bersekolah di negeri pada tingkat SMP & SMA. Berangkat dari pengalamannya, istri saya bersikukuh bahwa pendidikan dasar untuk anak kami harus didapat di sebuah institusi yang mengajarkan disiplin dengan ketat, & menurutnya sedikit sekali sekolah negeri yang memiliki reputasi baik dalam hal pengajaran disiplin. Jadi, intinya anak kami harus masuk SD swasta dengan reputasi baik.

Saya pribadi setuju saja dengan pendapatnya mengenai pentingnya pendidikan disiplin untuk anak kami. Walaupun untuk masuk sekolah swasta, kami harus mengeluarkan dana ekstra. Tapi kalau memang demi anak, saya rela. Masalahnya, saya kurang setuju dengan pendapatnya bahwa SD swasta tertentu merupakan pilihan terbaik untuk anak kami. Saya yakin bahwa "pendidikan" yang sejati seharusnya ada di rumah. Sekolah hanya memberi standarisasi dan melengkapi dengan informasi yang bisa memperkaya wawasan seorang anak. Di sekolah pula seorang anak bisa memperluas wawasan metakognitifnya, lewat pergaulan dengan anak seusianya.

Saya juga kurang setuju dengan pendapatnya bahwa dengan bersekolah di institusi yang ternama, masa depan anak kami akan "cerah". Bukan sekolah yang membuat seseorang bisa menjadi dokter, presiden, atau peneliti lapangan. Tidak ada yang bisa menjamin bahwa saya bisa saja menjadi seorang direktur perusahaan terkenal andai dulu saya bersekolah di SD A, SMP B, atau SMA C.

Jalan tengah mulai terbuka ketika kami mulai banyak mendengar tentang perubahan status & standar beberapa institusi pendidikan di sekitar tempat tinggal kami. Ada yang berubah menjadi sekolah percontohan, sekolah standar nasional, hingga sekolah standar regional/internasional. Sampai saat ini, saya masih belum mengerti dengan jelas apa yang membedakan status sekolah-sekolah itu, selain dari jumlah siswa dalam satu kelas. Di sekolah reguler, di dalam satu kelas terdapat kurang lebih 40-50 siswa. Sedangkan di sekolah-sekolah dengan status-status yang tersebut di atas, jumlah siswa dalam satu kelas hanya 28. Oke lah, hal itu mungkin bisa membuat perbedaan. Tetapi dari segi kurikulum dan kualitas pengajar, saya belum terlalu banyak mempelajari. Dan dengan meningkatnya status banyak sekolah tersebut, standar istri saya bisa agak berbelok. Dia mulai berpikir, mungkin tidak ada salahnya mencoba sekolah negeri berstandar nasional/regional/internasional. Hmm, setidaknya saya bisa terbebas dari kewajiban mengeluarkan biaya ekstra, hehehe.

Ada satu hal yang cukup membingungkan bagi saya, dan mungkin juga bagi banyak orang tua lain. Hampir semua sekolah dasar yang saya tahu hanya mau menerima siswa yang sudah bisa membaca, menulis, dan berhitung (doing calculation, bukan sekedar counting). Padahal, saya kerap mendengar bahwa pemerintah telah membuat peraturan yang melarang Taman Kanak-Kanak untuk memasukkan pelajaran membaca/menulis dalam kurikulumnya. Tapi, ah sudahlah, hal itu bisa disiasati dengan mengefektifkan peran kami sebagai orang tua. Untungnya, istri saya sangat rajin melatih anak saya membaca, menulis, dan berhitung. Saya hanya membantu sedikit untuk memperlancar. Tapi tetap saja, bila sistem pendidikan yang ada sekarang tidak dibenahi, situasinya akan tambah sulit bagi para pengguna jasa pendidikan di negeri ini.

Pengalaman Menyertai Anak Memasuki Bangku Sekolah Dasar

Anak saya yang pertama, Wina, pertengahan tahun ini akan menyandang predikat baru sebagai siswa sekolah dasar. Sebagai orang tua, saya dan istri merasa bangga padanya karena berhasil masuk ke salah satu sekolah dasar negeri berpredikat baik di Jakarta, SDN SSN Kayu Putih 09 Pagi, atau yang lebih terkenal dengan sebutan SD Siemens, dengan "menyingkirkan" puluhan anak lain yang mendaftar tes masuk di sekolah tersebut. Saya tidak bisa membayangkan bagaimana kadar kebanggaan kami nanti bila dia berhasil masuk ke universitas negeri, wong masuk SD negeri saja bangganya sudah seperti ini!

Tetapi memang jalan yang dia lalui sebelumnya boleh dibilang tidak mudah. Beberapa minggu sebelumnya, dia telah mengikuti tes masuk di SDN IKIP, atau yang lebih dikenal dengan SD Labschool, yang berstandar internasional. Tesnya ada dua jenis, tertulis dan lisan (wawancara). Selesai tes, dengan yakin dia mengatakan bahwa dia bisa menjawab semua soal/pertanyaan yang diujikan, termasuk pada saat wawancara. Kami pun menaruh keyakinan bahwa dia akan lulus tes itu. Tetapi ternyata, pada hari pengumuman, nama Wina tidak termasuk dalam daftar calon siswa yang lulus tes. Walhasil kami kebingungan ketika berulang kali Wina bertanya kenapa dia bisa gagal. Pihak sekolah pun menolak untuk "mengungkap" nilai anak-anak yang tidak lulus tes. Mereka cuma berkata, "Memang cuma anak-anak yang ada di daftar ini yang lulus tes." tanpa mau memberitahu secara detil. Akhirnya kami pulang dengan agak sedikit kecewa, dan untungnya setelah melewati pembicaraan selama beberapa hari, Wina bisa juga menerima.

Dengan berbekal pengalaman di SD Labschool, kami membawa Wina mendaftar di SD Siemens, & melalui proses yang sama seperti sebelumnya: Tes tertulis dan lisan pada tanggal 23 & 24 Mei 2008. Dua hari sesudahnya, tanggal 26 Mei pukul 7:30 pagi, kami sekeluarga mendatangi SD Siemens untuk melihat pengumuman hasil tes Wina. Pukul delapan, pihak sekolah baru menempel lembar pengumuman. Kali ini kami merasa lebih dihargai, karena panitia memberitahu bahwa yang diumumkan bukan hanya mereka yang lulus tes, tetapi juga yang tidak lulus, lengkap dengan nilai yang mereka dapat dari tes masuk dua hari sebelumnya. Mata saya tidak kesulitan untuk menemukan nama anak saya, Andrawina Syifanindita, di lembaran yang berisi daftar anak-anak yang lulus tes. Hati saya melonjak kegirangan. Dia menempati urutan ke-18 dari 56 anak yang diterima sebagai siswa baru. Pokoknya hari itu salah satu hari yang sangat membahagiakan dalam hidup saya.

Hati-hati di Parkiran Pasar Sunan Giri, Rawamangun

Anda yang tinggal di wilayah Kelurahan Rawamangun dan sekitarnya kemungkinan besar tahu tempat ini. Pasar Sunan Giri terletak di salah satu sudut persimpangan antara Jalan Balai Pustaka dan Jalan Sunan Giri, di seberang RM Sederhana. Daerah ini hampir selalu ramai dari pagi hingga petang, karena dekat dengan beberapa sekolah dan tempat makan.

Sebenarnya saya tidak pernah bermasalah dengan tempat ini, bahkan sering memanfaatkan fasilitas parkir di situ bila kebetulan ada keperluan di sekitar daerah ini. Tetapi hari rabu petang kemarin, tanggal 4 Juni 2008, saya mengalami kejadian yang kurang baik.

Bermula dari keinginan anak tertua saya, Wina (6 th), yang sore itu ingin sekali makan ayam pop di RM Sederhana. Dia memang suka sekali menu yang satu itu. Jadi, demi anak, biarpun istri saya sudah masak di rumah, saya tetap membawanya, beserta istri dan anak kedua saya, Raina, ke rumah makan padang tersebut sepulang dari menjemput istri di tempatnya mengajar. Dan seperti yang sering saya lakukan sebelumnya, saya memilih untuk masuk ke halaman parkir Pasar Sunan Giri, karena malas parkir di pinggir jalan. Waktu saya masuk pelataran parkir, hari sudah mulai gelap. Saya sengaja parkir di salah satu sudut parkiran yang paling dekat dengan RM Sederhana, agar kami tidak harus berjalan terlalu jauh. Ketika keluar dari kendaraan, saya melihat ada beberapa pria sedang duduk-duduk tidak jauh di arah belakang. Ada perasaan tidak enak yang memberitahu saya untuk memindahkan kendaraan lebih dekat ke loket parkir, tapi tidak saya hiraukan karena toh kami tidak akan berlama-lama di rumah makan. Belakangan saya baru tahu bahwa istri saya pun mempunyai firasat yang sama.

Singkat kata, selesai makan, kami kembali ke mobil. Saya lihat sekelompok pria tadi masih duduk-duduk di tempat semula. Beberapa dari mereka memandang ke arah kami sambil senyum-senyum. Setelah dekat dengan mobil, saya melihat ada yg tidak normal. Posisi mobil saya agak miring ke arah kanan depan. Benar saja, ketika saya cek, ternyata ban depan kanan sudah kempes, padahal 3 jam sebelumnya baru cek angin. Langsung saya minta istri dan anak-anak untuk segera masuk mobil dan mengunci pintu, sementara saya memeriksa ban. Setelah saya cek, tidak ada tanda-tanda paku atau benda tajam lainnya menempel di ban. Kecurigaan saya bertambah ketika saya tengok para pria yg sedang duduk-duduk tadi agak kasak-kusuk sambil melihat ke arah saya. Niat untuk mengganti ban saya batalkan, untuk menghindari hal-hal yang lebih buruk. Berbagai skenario muncul dibenak saya, mengingat sebelumnya saya pernah menjadi korban perampokan dengan modus serupa. Akhirnya saya ambil pompa angin (jenis pompa kaki) dari bagasi. Ban yang telah kempes saya pompa selama beberapa menit, sambil beberapa kali memeriksa apakah benar-benar ada kebocoran. Setelah terasa cukup, segera saya masuk mobil, menyalakan mesin, dan langsung keluar dari area parkir. Untungnya kami tinggal tidak jauh dari situ, sehingga tidak sampai 5 menit, kami telah tiba di rumah. Begitu keluar dari mobil, saya cek kembali ban kanan depan. Tekanan ban sama sekali tdak berkurang sejak saya meninggalkan Pasar Sunan Giri. Yakinlah saya bahwa ada orang yang sengaja mengempeskan ban mobil saya, entah dengan maksud apa. Mungkin jika saya memutuskan untuk mengganti ban, kejadiannya akan berbeda. Untung saya selalu membawa pompa angin di bagasi.

Jadi, pelajaran yang bisa diambil dari kejadian di atas:
1. Hindari memarkir di area seperti Pasar Sunan Giri atau yang sejenisnya bila telah gelap.
2. Kalaupun harus parkir di tempat seperti itu, jangan memarkir kendaraan jauh dari loket parkir. Dengan demikian kendaraan Anda lebih terpantau oleh petugas.
3. Perhatikan suasana sekitar parkir. Dengarkan insting Anda. Langsung pindahkan kendaraan bila Anda merasa kurang nyaman.
4. Bawa selalu peralatan untuk keadaan darurat. Tidak ada salahnya membawa alat yang kelihatannya sepele, seperti pompa angin (model kaki).
5. Bila Anda tidak bisa menangani masalah sendiri, segera hubungi keluarga atau kerabat untuk memberitahukan situasi dan posisi Anda.
6. Amankan barang2 berharga yang ada di dalam mobil, sehingga jika ada orang berkerumun di dekat Anda (dengan dalih ingin membantu), mereka tidak bisa dengan mudah mengambil barang2 tersebut.